Sup

This feels a bit like ringing the bell at a house, except it's my house that I'd left quietly and sheepishly a long decade ago and there's no one to answer. The front lawn's been overrun with weeds and vermin (Google warns me that this site may be compromised, so please don't leave your credit card details around. Email them to me instead). The neighborhood's moved on to nicer templates and to Twitter. Them old neighbors would be right to cluck and smirk too - I haven't written a lick since the last post, and am painfully aware of how hard this is now. 

 28 year old me would be hushed in horror at the state of it all, but he can kindly go fuck off. There are the obvious changes - The temples have grayed, the beer gut has grown stubborn even as beer consumption plummeted sharply and the ankles and knees protest vigorously. My inkwell of angst and despair now draws from annual health checkups, tax liabilities and middle management hell, instead of the crap you waded through in pages past. I need new material - life has not been as moan-worthy.

 It started with a lovely girl who decided she liked me. I was befuddled then, and still am, but was not going to disabuse her of her silly ideas. We got married in a year, lived and travelled in the US for another two. We had to get back to India rather hurriedly (I may have procrastinated a tad much on renewing my visa) and settled in Bangalore. We then had a son who's now 5 and growing up way too quickly, and we've all survived each other thus far. I keep marveling on how closely we resemble Calvin's family at this point - He is obsessed with space, dinosaurs and dipping frequently into a very vivid imagination. I don't know how long the magic will last, but I'm going to try my damndest to keep it so. 

 Currently playing : Roar like a dinosaur, Bounce Patrol

Hi

I've been meaning for a triumphant return. A post that would justify the length of absence and the indulgent self pitying I've wallowed in since. The curtains would part, the lights dimmed, and the symphony below would strike up something majestic.

Only there's nothing to say. Nothing new, I mean. The requisite glass is at my side, I'm writing at an hour that I should be sleeping at, and I've just realised that life hasnt changed one damn tootle since 2007.

I dont know whether that calms me or terrifies me. This time should be the epoch of reckoning, when I figure out the self, the woman, the career, the city...even the next playlist. When the alter ego finally mans up and grabs you by the collar, and shakes you awake.

There isnt such a guy. It's you, and how your world knows or perceives you. And how you want to wake up each morning and deal with that. You're not going to be a footballer and part time super spy, with a Ferrari and a Playboy centerfold.
You're going to be the guy who you've always inwardly denied being. It's now a question of whether you're at peace with him and where he is headed presently, or whether you're going to do anything about him.

Never mind. Lets go chug that pitcher.


Currently listening : I feel fine, Darker my love