I've been meaning for a triumphant return. A post that would justify the length of absence and the indulgent self pitying I've wallowed in since. The curtains would part, the lights dimmed, and the symphony below would strike up something majestic.
Only there's nothing to say. Nothing new, I mean. The requisite glass is at my side, I'm writing at an hour that I should be sleeping at, and I've just realised that life hasnt changed one damn tootle since 2007.
I dont know whether that calms me or terrifies me. This time should be the epoch of reckoning, when I figure out the self, the woman, the career, the city...even the next playlist. When the alter ego finally mans up and grabs you by the collar, and shakes you awake.
There isnt such a guy. It's you, and how your world knows or perceives you. And how you want to wake up each morning and deal with that. You're not going to be a footballer and part time super spy, with a Ferrari and a Playboy centerfold.
You're going to be the guy who you've always inwardly denied being. It's now a question of whether you're at peace with him and where he is headed presently, or whether you're going to do anything about him.
Never mind. Lets go chug that pitcher.
Currently listening : I feel fine, Darker my love
