Monday, April 25, 2011

Hi

I've been meaning for a triumphant return. A post that would justify the length of absence and the indulgent self pitying I've wallowed in since. The curtains would part, the lights dimmed, and the symphony below would strike up something majestic.

Only there's nothing to say. Nothing new, I mean. The requisite glass is at my side, I'm writing at an hour that I should be sleeping at, and I've just realised that life hasnt changed one damn tootle since 2007.

I dont know whether that calms me or terrifies me. This time should be the epoch of reckoning, when I figure out the self, the woman, the career, the city...even the next playlist. When the alter ego finally mans up and grabs you by the collar, and shakes you awake.

There isnt such a guy. It's you, and how your world knows or perceives you. And how you want to wake up each morning and deal with that. You're not going to be a footballer and part time super spy, with a Ferrari and a Playboy centerfold.
You're going to be the guy who you've always inwardly denied being. It's now a question of whether you're at peace with him and where he is headed presently, or whether you're going to do anything about him.

Never mind. Lets go chug that pitcher.


Currently listening : I feel fine, Darker my love

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Soliloquy

Every once in a while, the random guy perched precariously on the barstool next to you would lean / lurch over and say something in the nature of advice completely unsolicited. It would apply exclusively to his life and how he’s muddled it up. It would take a couple of iterations of his increasingly vehement slurring for you to glean its gist. And it would take the most beatific patience to not smirk or roll your eyes.

Then again, he’s been quiet for disquietingly too long, even by his standards… so indulge the man his rant. Or fuckoffplisthx.

What I’m trying to say, basically, is that you better be prepared for the realization that you’re the same chomu you always were….even before you changed cities. That shifting the job setting, pub setting and life setting, cant really help you with the quintessential fuckups of your life that you wreak on yourselves. Your life experiences (pfft!) are going to be as abysmally non starter as ever, you’re going to get the same appraisal feedback from your new boss, your folks are going to sound just as exasperated over the phone and your love life would still be a cruel joke.

What just might pull you through is the gradual realization, albeit belated, of the above. You may even pledge to learn the lesson this time.

Or get another mug. Even if it’s bloody Fosters now.


Currently listening : 15 Step, Radiohead